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231.Patience

  • Nov. 23rd, 2012 at 10:15 AM


patience in avoiding the things God has forbidden
patience in following the commands of God
and
patience at the time of calamity while anticipating God's grace
 

221.

  • Feb. 4th, 2012 at 10:49 PM

Shouldn't have done that. Really.

Triggering unnecessary thoughts, unnecessary words. I'm crying again after 3 months. 

Hanya Allah tempat ku mengadu,

Hanya Allah yang memahami keperitan ini.

Hanya Allah yang dapat mengubati hati ini :'(


note to self: redha. forgive, let go. 

220. fervour

  • Dec. 3rd, 2011 at 2:05 AM

    • Meeting a new revert every single week is a blessing i can't describe. Hearing their stories make me well up in tears every single time. My struggles are nothing compared to the struggles they have to go through every day. They are the ones who'd make me realise about the things i've been taking for granted, slap me into reality and remind me to be sincere in all my actions. There's so many things to learn from them. 

219.

  • Oct. 19th, 2011 at 12:52 PM

Eat well, sleep well and lead a happy life in the path of Allah.


Reflecting on a reminder back in January. InsyaAllah, I will keep that in mind. 

218.

  • Sep. 25th, 2011 at 2:36 AM

a hurtful truth is always better than a perpetual unknown

i am built for heartbreaks after all. 

217. people leave

  • Sep. 17th, 2011 at 8:48 PM

Ranting and venting here again simply because I don't have anywhere else to turn to. 

Truth be told. I've never felt belong to this group of friends I have in class. Actually, I don't really believe in cliques in the first place. I can't understand the idea of being stuck with the same group of people every single time. Yeah, so much for being trained to be flexible educators of the future. So, in the future, teachers will teach their students to judge each other and form cliques is it? 

No doubt, it makes me sad sometimes. Especially when there are group assignments due and people start scampering around dividing into their usual groups. Andd there i was. Left behind, insignificant, ignored, forgotten. Probably I turned instantly invisible there and then. 

Maybe because I'd always have to reject meeting up with them because of ms work. Maybe because they always have to bring their boyfriends along when we meet up. Maybe because I get disgusted every time that happens. Maybe because I value some things in life that they don't. Maybe because i'm just.... different. I gave up thinking of the whys and maybes. 

So, apparently now i'm stuck with this group again simply because I need to 'fill up space'. And apparently they're not free to meet up to finish up an assignment because of a birthday gathering they planned (which I wasn't invited of course).

The feeling of being insignificant and forgotten is... painful :'( 

With that said, I miss seeing my fellow ms friends,
who always make me feel at ease,
who always care for one another, 
who always believe in everyone's capabilities,
who always remind me of Allah.

215.

  • Sep. 5th, 2011 at 12:25 AM

and everytime, the person i'm most disappointed of is myself

213.

  • Aug. 19th, 2011 at 11:27 PM

One of those nights when I need Him most. 

207.

  • Jul. 11th, 2011 at 12:25 AM

 mentally, physically, emotionally drained. to put it simply. :(

15 more days of work and i'll be happier. 

204

  • Jul. 10th, 2011 at 9:14 AM

 i can't help thinking about the cruel what ifs. note to self: don't. just don't. easier said than done

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